If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize