He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
