I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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