This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
