All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
there is glitter all over my balls
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