I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
