She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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