i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
