You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am one with the molecules
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ladies don't puke and tell
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are leaves in my underwear?
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