the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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