I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
