Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
