And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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