she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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