Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
