you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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