we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
