actually, I'm a sock model
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
