just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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