we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
