that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
