You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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