Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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