Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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