It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm way too hungover for life right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
