You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
