I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
