If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
is it fun? or sober?
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