just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is Oprah even human
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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