Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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