He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
