she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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