You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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