The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
