OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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