I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
