i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize