think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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