I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize