I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize