I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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