I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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