if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
