omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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