The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
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