I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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