So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
