You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
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i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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