u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
