My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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