Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
