woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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