butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
