he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
