I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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