she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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